Without the Dragon Dork
by wikelia
Summary: "Guys?" Tuffnut asked quietly, unusually serious. "How different would our lives be if we never knew Hiccup? How different…" He hesitated, seeming a little afraid to say it. "How different would we be if we never knew Hiccup?" A oneshot inspired by Austin and Ally.


**This is totally based off of an Austin and Ally episode called "What-Ifs and Where's Austin." Hope you like it! My fingers are crying, I wrote this all in one go for no reason, and I kinda hope that this gets more attention than any other oneshot I've written because dear** _ **Thor**_ **I worked hard on this.**

"Alright, gang." Hiccup clapped his hands together with a huge smile. "Let's start trai-"

Everyone simultaneously groaned, and Fishlegs gave Astrid a pointed look. "Hiccup," she started, hesitating only slightly, "we haven't even had breakfast, for Thor's sake." She waved her hand. "You can't expect us to train on an empty stomach."

Hiccup mumbled something about the lot barely training on a _full_ stomach.

"Hey!" Snotlout protested. "Just because _you_ like doing flying maneuvers with that pointless flight suit of yours at the crack of dawn doesn't mean we all do."

"It is _not_ the crack of dawn. And Dragonfly isn't pointless."

"Yes it is," the group echoed. Hiccup's scowl deepened.

"Fine, then! See if I care!" He turned his back to them. Astrid rolled her eyes. She didn't know when her boyfriend had become such a _drama queen._ He could be outright ridiculous sometimes. She walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Hiccup. I swear, just let us eat, and then we'll all train. Deal?"

He turned to her with a defeated stance. "Deal."

The twins whooped, and then Tuffnut's eyes lit up. "Hey, Hiccup!"

"Yeah?" The auburn haired boy looked at his suddenly really happy best friend.

"You know what would be great for breakfast?"

"Oh, don't say it -"

"Orange sauce yak chops!" Ruff and Tuff banged their heads together, causing a _clang_ to resound in the room. It was now Hiccup's turn to groan.

A while back, they had discovered a village of vikings who they had assured that the dragons would not hurt them. They were easy to convince, for they had not even seen that many dragons, and welcomed them openly. Berk had gained an ally that day. The chief had even offered them a hut to stay in, and he'd let them choose whatever food they wanted to eat, not for free, of course (the room was free, the food wasn't). And they'd gone into a pub. And thus had become everyone's obsession with orange sauce yak chops.

It quickly became everyone's favorite food. Even Hiccup and Astrid, who normally didn't get excited about _food_ , ravished it whenever they decided to buy it. But it was a twenty-five minute ride, and to go just to bring it back right away seemed like a waste.

But now everyone wanted it. It was in their heads now, and they wouldn't settle for anything else. Hiccup sighed. "The chief is gonna throw us out one day, guys." He shook his head. "I probably shouldn't…"

"He wouldn't kick us out!" Fishlegs protested. "He loves us, especially you!"

"And you _do_ have the fastest dragon, Hiccup," Astrid reminded him, now thinking ravenously of a full heaping pile of brown steamy chops, with that heavenly sauce spread all over it, dripping at the sides, just _pleading_ to be eaten. Her stomach grumbled and she blushed when everyone stared at her. So she reverted back to convincing Hiccup in an attempt to make everyone forget it. "It makes _sense_ for you to go."

"Are you even on my side, like _ever,_ these days?" Hiccup teased with a little grin. "Fine. You guys win, I'll go."

Everyone cheered, and Tuffnut clapped Hiccup on the back like he was his brother, wiping a few fake tears from his eyes.

"Ah, young Hiccup. What _would_ we do without you?"

* * *

Snotlout, although he tried to hide it, got nervous quickly. And seeing the blonde haired girl pacing in front of him wasn't helping matters.

"Astrid, will you please _sit down?"_

"Two hours, Snot," was her reply, "he's been gone for two hours. What if _they_ got him? Oh, I'm so _stupid._ Why in Thor's name would we let him -"

She was interrupted by FIshlegs' squeal when he pointed at the sky. Shielding his eyes from the sun, Snotlout looked up to see a Terrible Terror making it's way towards them. It was Sharpshot.

There was a sudden crash and Ruff emerged from inside the clubroom, her mouth morphed into an evil smile. A few seconds later, Tuff came out, only he had something else on his face.

Namely, Chicken.

There were a few seconds of chaos in which Fishlegs pressed a hand to his heart, Ruffnut whooped, Astrid yelped and tried to get Tuff's pet off him, and Tuff himself spun around, arms flailing.

Snotlout, for his part, simply sat back and enjoyed the show as Sharpshot landed on his arm. As the others straightened themselves out (and the Chicken was grounded and told not to leave his corner in the clubroom), he opened the letter and read it.

"Well?" asked Astrid, still scowling at Tuffnut, "what does it say?"

Snotlout stood up, agitated. "He says he's been in an accident!"

" _What?"_ everyone else yelled. Astrid scrambled to get the letter, but Snotlout stood up on a high rock, jumping to avoid her.

"Is he hurt?" Fishlegs was hyperventilating, quickly getting frantic. "Oh Thor, is his other leg still there? How long does he have to live?"

"Relax, losers, he just fell down."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief, and Astrid clenched her fists. "Why'd you say it like he was dying or something?"

Snotlout groaned. "He was holding the chops. Now, he has to wait for them to make more." At everyone's incredulous stares, he added, "what? I'm starving!"

"You scared us!" Ruffnut snapped. Snotlout stared at her in surprise; she usually didn't get this worked up. "We thought something _bad_ happened to Hiccup!"

Tuffnut wiped more imaginary tears from his eyes. "Oh, I could never imagine it. He's, like, my only friend."

Fishlegs waved at him. "Hey, uh, we're your friends too!"

"Thanks. But that doesn't help."

" _Guys,"_ said Snotlout casually, "you're acting like our world would be totally different without Hiccup."

"Muttonhead," Astrid responded darkly, "of course it would be. He brought peace between us and the dragons, remember?"

"...Well, besides that. I mean, it's not like he _shaped_ us into who we are today, right?"

There was no answer, so he said once again, " _Right?"_

Again, no one responded. None of them had really contemplated Hiccup simply not being there, because he always _was_ there. He saved the day, he fixed the problem, he was the hero. He was their friend, though and through.

"Guys?" Tuffnut asked quietly, unusually serious. "How different would our lives be if we never knew Hiccup? How different…" He hesitated, seeming a little afraid to say it. "How different would _we_ be if we never knew Hiccup?"

* * *

 _ **Fishlegs**_ was a smart boy, the _smartest_ boy on Berk, in fact. But he didn't pride himself on it. After all, what was the fun in knowledge when there was no one to share it with?

He was a boy of nineteen, and the only viking who had memorized the Book of Dragons completely. And everyone knew it. He would probably live his life alone. A pretty girl named Heather had once come to Berk, but the other teens his age had not trusted her, and they had stuck her on a ship and sent her back to her home. _He_ had wanted to get to know her, but he supposed it was not meant to be.

And now as he scurried back home from dinner, he heard a cackling behind him and he turned around, groaning. "S-Snotlout, c-can I help you?"

"Sure you can, Fishface. Stop being such a _nerd_ , for one thing."

Fishlegs' fists clenched as he heard the twins laughing behind them. He hated this boy with every fiber of his being.

"Second, try not to be a loser, either? How's that sound?"

He wished that they would pick on somebody else for a change. It was an awful thing to wish this on someone, but he was _sick_ of Snotlout and the twins' bullying. It didn't matter anyway, because there was no one who was less of a viking than he was, so he was their natural choice. When they finally left him alone, he felt a few tears fall down his cheeks. Luckily no one noticed.

In days like these, Fishlegs wished he had a friend.

* * *

 _ **Snotlout**_ had tried not to be loud when he came into his house, but his father was already there, scowling and fingering the blade of his axe in front of the fire.

"You've been missing out on the duties again."

"Dad -"

"I'm disappointed in you, Snotlout."

 _Of course you are,_ he wanted to scream bitterly. Spitelout would never be proud of him, no matter how hard he tried.

"So instead of attending your classes with Stoick, and preparing to become _chief_ one day, ya decide to go hang out with those _Thorstons_ again."

He never understood why it wasn't okay for him to be around the twins for too long. Just like he didn't understand why his dad just couldn't accept that he didn't _want to,_ and _couldn't,_ not in his wildest dreams, be chief.

Someone else needed to be chief. It wasn't _his_ fault that the chief's wife - his Aunt Valka - had been killed by dragons before she could produce an heir. At first he'd loved the idea. But now it was just a burden.

His father's eyes bore into him. "Get out. Right now. I don't wanna see you at the moment."

Snotlout slammed the door behind him, angrily wiping his eyes before anyone saw the tears threatening to fall.

He wished that there was someone to convince these stupid vikings that it was okay to hang with members of the lower class.

And he wished that someone else could be chief, because Thor knew that if _he_ became chief, Berk would burn to the ground.

* * *

 _ **Ruffnut**_ knew she would never get to many places in life with her family position, but at least she had her brother with her. Their pranks, their shenanigans. It was always the two of them against the world. It wasn't like she was really friends with any of the other teens.

Too bad she couldn't tell Tuff how much he meant to her.

It was ridiculous, really. Lately, every time her bro-bro was in the room, or was laughing, or she was hitting him, she had a strange urge to _hug_ him. But that was stupid.

Vikings didn't show their emotions. She was supposed to be _tough,_ act like her brother didn't mean anything to her.

But he _did._ And she was too scared to let him know.

Tuff would probably laugh at her. He'd tease her for being such a softie, and then he'd tell Snotlout, too. Sometimes, Ruff feared that her brother cared more about their stocky, annoying friend than he did about her.

If word got out that Ruffnut Thorston was a softie, she'd die from embarrassment. She already _was,_ and that was just coming to terms with her own feelings. Talking to someone _else_ about it was equivalent to asking Odin for an early death.

Sometimes she wished her and Astrid were friends. But no, people considered Astrid a _girl,_ a _warrior._

Who was _she,_ compared to Astrid? Just that Tuffnut boy's sister. And that was all she would ever be. And even _that_ she didn't feel she was too appreciated for. Safe in her bed, she turned and let a few tears spill from her eyes.

She wished someone would tell her it was okay to have feelings.

* * *

 _ **Tuffnut**_ , as everyone knew, was a trickster.

And according to Snotlout, his parents, the chief, and all of Berk, that was _all_ he was.

Seeing his father prepare for the next dragon raid, Tuff _tried_ to speak up, but was quickly shot down, without anyone listening to what he had to say.

He avoided his room, where Ruff was, because she would probably interrogate him, and ask him why he bothered to even try, considering how stupid he was.

His fists clenched as he stood against the wall. Stupid, idiot, ignorant fool. That was all anyone ever called him.

He had _ideas._ _Good_ ideas. But no one bothered to listen because they were convinced it was just him trying to pull some stupid prank again.

He was honestly just trying to _help._ When would people see that he had a brain, and that he thought of other things besides _Loki-ing_ people?

He had noticed that the dragons avoided eels at all costs, and that could be a helpful tool. He'd noticed plenty of things.

 _Ha._

His ideas were just that. Ideas. Nothing more, and they never would be.

As he heard his parents continue talking downstairs, Tuff wished that someone would, for once, _listen_ to him.

* * *

 _ **Astrid**_ liked practicing in the arena at night. It was quiet, and there was no one to disturb her. The barrels were her enemies; they had done her a great wrong.

Another one broke with a gratifying _crick,_ and she fell down on the floor, wound up, arms aching.

What scared her was that she couldn't remember the last time she had taken a break.

It could have been years, for all she knew.

The Flightmare had come back, and like an idiot, she had met it head first in battle when it landed in Berk. And just like her uncle, she _froze._

She didn't know what had happened. One minute she was _there,_ with her axe, screaming at the demon to come at her, and the next second she couldn't move. She was paralyzed. And Astrid _knew_ it wasn't in fear, but no one believed her.

After that incident, her family reputation fell like a dragon in a bola. Her mother couldn't look her in the eye for _weeks,_ and her father had given her such a harsh scolding that Astrid had actually gone to her room and cried.

She had always been a dedicated warrior, but that day something had just _snapped_ inside her. She wasn't just a warrior, or a shield maiden. She was a dragon killing _machine_ now, and now she cried, alone in the arena, because no one was going to change that.

Astrid wished she had someone to support her, for a change.

* * *

Oh, his friends were going to be so _mad_ at him. Getting the chops now - it would be more like lunch instead of breakfast. He winced, already imagining their scolding faces.

So when he landed on Dragon's Edge, he noticed that they had all gone inside the clubroom, and he followed suit, expecting to be met with glares and shouts of him being too clumsy.

Instead, the moment he stepped in, he was smothered.

For a second Hiccup feared that they were so mad they were trying to choke him to death. It took him a while to realize they were all _hugging_ him.

"I can't keep my feelings inside!"

"I don't wanna be chief!"

"You're the only one who ever takes me seriously!"

"I don't want to be a stressed out, dragon killing machine!"

"You're my only friend!"

Hiccup looked at them all, bewildered, and he wondered if his constant training had finally pushed them to the brink of insanity.

"So," he began, very much creeped out by their new affections for him, "what went on in _here?"_

Astrid let out a relieved laugh and then kissed him, _hard,_ on the lips. His eyes widened, because she normally didn't put on such public display of affection in front of the other teens. Snotlout scowled at him - were those _tears of relief_ in his eyes? - before grinning and giving him a _noogie._ And as if he wasn't already freaked out enough by that, Fishlegs kissed him on the cheek, and the twins would not let go of his waist.

And none of them seemed to regret it one bit. If anything, his obviously creeped out face seemed to encourage them. He looked over to see Toothless, who merely shrugged at him. _Your friends are weird, not my problem._

Oh, _very helpful_ , Toothless.

"Guys? _What are you doing?"_ His voice was slightly hysterical.

"Shut up, Hiccup," Astrid responded, "just let us hug you."

Snotlout nodded. "Yeah. We really take you for granted, dude."

Tuffnut added, "If we ever make you mad again, just hit us across the head."

"But remember that we love you," Fishlegs assured.

"And you're the bestest, awesomest, friendliest, coolest Hiccup we know," Ruffnut finished with a flourish.

Hiccup gave up trying to figure out what was going on and merely sagged his shoulders, giving in to their hug. The group's first group hug. Something that didn't even seem possible earlier today. His lips quirked upward in a smile.

His friends _were_ crazy, but honestly, he wouldn't give them up for the world.

After all, he wouldn't be who he was without them.

 **Tell me which rider's what-if was your favorite!**


End file.
